Guilt.

I’m so sorry.

I apologize in advance for any pain I’ve caused you. Jade. I love you so much and I hate that I just couldn’t show it to you. I feel like bleeding for you would be easier. Dying for you would be so much easier.. then this. Then.. living for you. I want to live for you. I want to be everything that you could’ve ever imagined. I feel like I’m fucking up. I feel like I’m fucking everything up and I don’t know how to fix it. I feel like I’ve done so well to fix everything. But this… I can’t figure out. I’ve tried and tried… for everyone. But it’s just not enough is it? I still feel like I’m just watching this really shitty movie. Oh baby. I could only hope that I didn’t fuck it up that bad for you. I just want you to be happy. Whatever your life becomes… I want you to experience true happiness. Please forgive me in advance… I feel like I’m drifting away and I don’t want to drift from you. I write this for you because I want you to understand. Please understand that I love you and I always have.

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